The pit...

I have a pit in my stomach and I am having trouble sleeping. Why you ask? Because I am going on vacation!! Why would this cause me to have a pit in my stomach and trouble sleeping you ask - because two thirds of my heart is not coming with me. I have never left Ryan overnight and I have left Noah less than 5 times. I have no doubt in my mind that they are going to be perfectly fine with our moms watching them. I know they are going to miss us - Noah will show it more than Ryan, but they will make it through. I have been prepping Noah for a month now and he was fine until the last few times we have talked about it and he now says "I don't want you to yeave Momma, I want you with me". I keep making it a happy time instead of sad and tell him how much fun he is going to have with his grandmas. Ryan is sensing it too, she kept hugging me and playing with my hair yesterday - which is out of character for her. 

Back in January I had the idea that Nathan and I needed to go on vacation somewhere together - we haven't been anywhere alone since our honeymoon over 7 years ago.  We are trying to have fun as a couple and not just as parents. This year we celebrate our 15th dating anniversary so I decided to plan it for October since I would be done nursing Ryan by then and I do not like leaving my children overnight until they are 1. So, it was set - we were going to Vegas and renewing our vows with Elvis! That was 9 months ago - now we leave in 2 days! 

I don't feel that nervous yet - just have that nagging pit in my stomach reminding me that I am not at tough as I think I am. Nathan seems to be more worried and taking it harder than me! I know every day about 5:30 I am going to feel like I need to be carrying something on my hip and having someone asking me "why momma" over and over again - but I am not just a mom, so I need to have a break. It will make us better parents for it. 

So, the Wills are made, 5 typed pages of instructions for the kids (don't judge!), suitcases are almost all packed, and house is almost all clean (I cannot go on vacation with a dirty house and our moms are house and pet sitting at our house along with babysitting so we have to make it good and clean for them). 

I have to go finish packing and cleaning and loving on my babies now - but if you think of it - extra prayers for me, Nathan, Noah, Ryan and our moms this week - we will all need them :) I will be posting pictures and hopefully a blog while we are gone - have a great week everyone!

Ryan Turned One in a Flash!

What more appropriate theme for Ryan that One in a Flash - since I take pictures of her almost daily we had plenty of pictures to decorate with. I LOVED how the decorations turned out. Nathan, Laikken, and I went down the night before after the kids went to sleep and decorated for a few hours so we wouldn't have as much to do on party day. We filled up all the balloons with helium (by "we" I mean Nathan) and when I went back 10 hours later they were all on the ground - lesson learned on that one! I went with pink and gray as the color scheme. I made banners with scrapbook paper and put her picture on them, made a banner that said One in a Flash, one with RMS (Ryan Maelynn Stillwell) on them, and we had several other pictures in frames all over the room. We did a gray chevron cake with a pink top layer to take off for Ryan to smash and pink "1" cupcakes and cupcakes with cameras on top.

I made a cheeseball in the shape of a 1, cheese dip, vegetable cups, and we also had tortilla spinwheels, chips and pretzels and drinks. There was more people there than I had planned on (which is an awesome surprise to have) so there wasn't as much food as I would have liked there to have been - but it happens. Ryan got lots of good girl gifts :) She has been happily playing with Noah's leftovers for a while now, but I was glad to get her some girl toys to play with. Of course, Noah plays with them just as much as she does.

Here are some photo highlights from the photographer that we hired for the party - Tootsie Toes Photography:

Our sad balloons - the kids didn't mind though :)

Singing Happy Birthday :)

Happy 1st Birthday Sweet Ryan! You truly did turn One in a Flash!

Momma Club

The Momma Club has a lot of criteria you must meet before you are officially "in". Such as: being puked on, being pooped on, staying up all night with a kid, having your kids snot on your shoulder all day and not realizing it, finding random kids toys/food in your purse, etc. Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before this one happened. I met another criteria for the Momma Club this weekend. Noah had his first "Come to Jesus" meeting (aka: spanking) in the public bathroom. He has been testing his boundaries a lot lately and it is just killing me (just ask Nathan - he thinks I am losing my mind because it bothers me having to discipline him so much). The poor kid has gotten at least one spanking or time out every day for the last week from me. I by far hate the disciplining part of parenting more than anything. I have memories of being disciplined as a child and I remember thinking how innocent I was and that my parents were just wrong! I don't want Noah having any bad memories like that - but I also cannot let him become "that kid" - the brat that no one wants to be around. You know that kid - their evil little face popped in your head as soon as you read that.

We went to my niece Eliza's 7th birthday party at the jump place Saturday. Noah doesn't nap on Saturdays, he just goes to bed earlier. Well, that works ok, unless he is running around a lot and getting extra tired (like jumping) or if it is late afternoon. I forgot to go over the birthday warning with him before we left - he is still confused about this, he always wants to blow out the candles too. So, before we go to parties I will tell him "this is Elizas party and her candles, you can't blow them out, do you understand?" and it usually works. Well, since I forgot and he was in a bad mood because he wanted to jump and hadn't had a nap - he melted down when Eliza blew out her candles. In front of everyone, he lost it. I was holding Ryan, and Nathan was talking/ignoring Noah because he was being a brat. He was only getting worse and louder and ruining Elizas party so I had to hand Ryan over to Nathan and take him to the bathroom. He looked shocked at the spanking and just stood there looking at me with wide eyes and his lip out (making it SO hard for me to get onto him). I gave him the "I am not raising a brat and you are not going to act that way" speech and he kept saying "yes ma'am" (thank you daycare) and he was good as gold after that! He will tell you all about it too - "I was screaming and crying and momma spanked me and then I stopped crying and sat in her lap like a good boy" :)

Love this picture of these two fighting - as usual :)

Eliza did have an awesome birthday party and I still cannot believe she is 7! We love you Eliza and were so glad we got to celebrate your special day with you! (Sorry Noah tried to steal the show!)

This week...

Well, here it is Friday and I realized I haven't blogged all week! Well, this week has been...well...uh...challenging.  Sunday was Ryan's birthday party (that will get it's own blog post once I get the pictures back from the photographer) and I was going non-stop all day. I noticed at the party that Noah was coughing - but he was running around a lot, so I thought maybe he was just hot. A few kids at his daycare had bronchitis last week and I was really hoping we had avoided it. I finally sat down for the first time that night about 9:30 p.m. and heard a lot of coughing coming from Noah's room - not a good sign.

Monday afternoon we got a call that the building I work in (which is for sale) was going to be shown the next day!  Well, let's just say it wasn't exactly "show ready" - so, we had to drop what we were doing and start prepping it - and I was the only employee without a prior commitment that afternoon so it left me there to try to do what I could by myself and I had appointments to prepare for the next day.

Then Tuesday morning Ryan woke up with a slight fever and coughing. I headed to work to finish cleaning and we all came together and got the office looking amazing just in time for the showing. This is where the craziness began - it was almost as if it could go wrong it did. Then the babysitter text me that Noah was running a fever and coughing pretty bad. I already had a doctor's appointment scheduled on Wednesday for Ryan's 1 year check up, but I could quickly tell this was going to turn into a sick appointment instead of a check-up. Noah forgot to lift the lid before using the bathroom at home - that was lovely. Ryan pooped the bathtub (which honestly happens a few times a week right now). Needless to say, I was tired of cleaning poop at that point. Noah knocked Ryan's glass food jar off the table and it shattered everywhere and splattered spaghetti all over me and the floor. Then, 40 minutes after I fall asleep, Nathan comes busting in the bedroom thinking he is going to die because he was stung by a scorpion. He then left the light on while he finished getting ready for bed. 30 minutes later, Noah coughed until he puked in his bed. So, I had to get up and change his sheets and clean up a few things that were in the line of fire. Thankfully, he didn't get it on himself, so he sat in the floor with his eyes closed - then when I put him back in bed he said "tanks momma, I love you" :) Then 2 hours later Noah is screaming again because his night light went off - which he knows how to turn back on - I guess he was just too tired/sick to remember that.

I got up and was SO tired after my up and down night, but I had to get the kids to the doctor by 8:30 and I really wanted to hurry up and get them medicine. So, we went in for Ryan's 1 year check-up, but they said she was too sick for her well check-up and Noah got checked out too - they both got diagnosed with bronchitis - so shocked! So, we were off to pick up our 4 prescriptions and head home. When we got home, Noah decided he wanted some milk. So, he goes to get it out of the refrigerator and shelf falls out and the half gallon jog of whiskey fall out and busts all over the ground. Thankfully, it missed Noah's foot - but there was glass and whiskey everywhere! Ryan was ready for lunch and a nap - but I couldn't leave the mess. So, I had to put her in her highchair and try to keep her happy while cleaning the mess up. This clean-up required soaking it up and picking up all the glass. Vacuuming all the kitchen and hallway and then mopping it all. Finally got Ryan in bed and went to sort through my clothes and my rolling closet in my bedroom had fell over and took all the clothes down with it. Noah then decided to pee in my kitchen floor - another mopping for the kitchen floor! (my kitchen floors are either really clean or really dirty - you be the judge) Ryan finally woke up from her 5 hour nap and then coughed until she threw up her milk - I am not sure how milk spoils so fast and stinks like that, but she stunk. Then the cat decided to pee in my laundry basket instead of the litter box. Of course I couldn't catch the cat while chasing it around the house to beat it.

As I am taking this picture Noah is standing behind me and says "it looks like a river to me" :/

Thankfully Thursday was much better. We all took a little work break for some retail therapy - love those work shopping trips! But, I realized after I got home that I was overcharged for 2 things, so back to the store I will be going. But, other than that minor detail - it was a much less eventful day.

For all the craziness I had this week - I remained amazingly calm (I have been praying for patience and to remain calm with the kids - thank you God!). I will admit, I missed the whiskey a few times, but I survived.  Hopefully, this weekend and next week will be uneventful leaving me more time to blog and not be cleaning up broken glass or poop. Have a great weekend!

Ryan Maelynn is 1!

And just like that, Ryan is 1! It is hard to remember life without her already - she just came in a fits in perfectly! Here are this months highlights:

* She weighs around 27 pounds and is 32 inches long (these are my measurements - the best I can get with a squirmy squishy kid, but I will get some more official ones at her 1 year check up next week)

*Ryan hasn't had the best luck with her milk. It is not that she is allergic, I don't think anyway. She just seems to spit it up occasionally, and she wasn't spitting up at all before. I think her belly is just trying to adjust to it still. Also, she has had a cold with lots of drainage so that doesn't mix well with dairy anyway so some days she doesn't get milk at all. Hopefully this will all get better once she is all well again. She is drinking completely out of a sippy now, no more bottles and we just give her milk or water (with a tiny bit of apple juice) as needed - no more set amounts of drinking for her.  She still loves to eat yogurt bites, puffs, cheerios, and kix cereal with a little water/juice at snack time. She has added applesauce and oatmeal to her breakfast favorites too.

* Ryan has upped her sleeping from going to sleep at 8:30 to more like 7:45. She then sleeps until about 7:30 (give or take an hour). She goes to sleep all on her own without crying like a big girl and wakes up and will lay there and babble for at least 30 minutes. She is sleeping partially swaddles (from the belly down) and not in her nap nanny anymore.

* She is still in size 3 diapers, and size 5 night diapers. She sleeps too long for a normal diaper to hold up.

* She is in 18-24 month clothes and most of her size 2 shoes still fit, but is into size 3s for the most part.

* Ryan still enjoys playing in the floor, but her new thing is to be on the couch or my chair and ottoman. She just scoots all over them, spins circles, and will throw herself back and then sit back up. Her favorite things to play with right now are her alphabet dinosaur, stacking bowls, and her new kitchen from Papa Bobby.

* She is still a scooter and doesn't seem to have any desire to change that! She pulls up on one knee and one foot all the time. She still can't "cruise" around the furniture and tables yet. She has stopped rolling over, just out of laziness I think since she is never on her belly. I am going to ask the doctor all about it next week though - I fully expect "Lazy Diva" as the diagnosis :)

* She still only has 8 teeth - but still seems to be teething occasionally but nothing new yet.

* Her  new "tricks" this month are sticking her tongue out when you stick it out at her, if you say "hello" she will put whatever she is holding up to her ear, getting in screaming contests with her brother, blowing kisses, and Mooing like a cow :)

Hello?

We will celebrate Ryan's birthday tomorrow with a "One in a Flash" themed party - decorated with pictures of Ryan from the last year - obviously, I had a few to chose from :) It is hard to believe my baby girl is one - but being pregnant with her also seems like it was so long ago. I can't wait to watch her grow and learn!

A year ago...

A year ago today, I got up and packed my hospital bags in the car for the 4th day in a row, just in case I needed to leave work for the hospital. Felt a little funny all day, but figured it was in my head. I got home and took Noah outside to ride his bike around the yard. Then Nathan got home and we decided to go for a jeep ride to see if the baby may want to make an appearance after that. We took a long bumpy ride and I didn't feel any different, just still a little weird. (little did I know until tomorrow, how dangerous this was for me) We all went to bed early. We had a feeling something might be going on with the baby that night.

A year ago tomorrow at 5:23 a.m. I woke up to my water breaking! We loaded the car up real quick, dragged poor Noah out of bed and dropped him off at the sitters at 6:15 a.m. and headed for the hospital!

A year ago tomorrow I heard the words "prolapsed cord", "emergency c-section" and "stillborn".

A year ago tomorrow with tears in my eyes I looked into my husbands eyes and he told me "It's a girl"!

A year ago tomorrow I heard a doctor say "wow, look how good this baby looks to be a prolapsed baby".

A year ago tomorrow I heard my doctor talking to a nurse during my c-section and said "look at this, velamentous cord insertion, that is crazy". (I later learned this was a very serious condition that I should have been on bed rest from week 25 on for - definitely not riding in a jeep the night before)

A year ago tomorrow I heard the pediatrician say she had never seen a baby look so healthy after having a prolapsed cord!

A year ago tomorrow God saved Ryan.

Thank you God! I can't wait to see what the many more todays, tomorrows, and years hold for us!

Daddy's Girl

What is it about a Daddy and his little girl? What is it about a little girl and her Daddy? I never considered myself a Momma or Daddy's girl, so I don't know from personal experience. Noah is definitely a Momma's boy and I always assumed it was because he was with me more. We bonded early on with lots of one on one time together. I am the only one who ever got up with him in the night, he never stayed a night away from home until he was over 1, nursed him until he was one, and kept him at work with me until he was 10 weeks old. I assumed Ryan would be a Momma's girl too - for all the same reasons above - she only got to stay with me until she was 6 weeks old and she still hasn't stayed a night away from us. But, she isn't. Don't get me wrong, she loves her Momma, but I am not her only main love. This girl LOVES her Daddy. She will hear him come home and start smiling and look for him when she hears his voice. She will scoot to wherever he is and put her arms up and look at him and smile. She will squirm out of my arms and into the floor and scoot to him from across the room.

Nathan works very hard for us and does not get to spend much time with us - especially through the week. His business has been very busy since Ryan was born - so he may have even had less bonding time with Ryan than he did Noah and that has not phased this girls love for her Daddy in the slightest. She said Dada before Momma (opposite of Noah) and will go to him from me and not look back (Noah NEVER did this). Noah will proudly proclaim he is a Momma's boy (which I am totally for until he gets older - that would be awkward in Junior high). Noah loves his Daddy and always wants to know where he is if he isn't home and can't wait for him to get home - then as soon as he gets there he tells him to "go bye bye, yeave Dada" and they are wrestling in the floor 5 minutes later! They just have a different kind of relationship than Noah and I have. I guess the same is true with Ryan. Lately she has to be on my hip all the time. No matter what is going on or what cool toys I drag out - she scoots right behind me crying - so I pick her up of course. She lays her head on my shoulder and surprises me with open mouth kisses and just melts my heart. Then her Daddy gets home and when she willingly leaves me for him (I am not going to lie) it hurts me a little. I have never had a kid do that before so this is new - she is supposed to love me more :) I carried her for 9 months and had my stomach cut open and have put in all the hard work! But, that also makes it more special that she loves her Daddy that much - he just is who he is and she loves him - the connection is just there.

Ryan loving her Daddy so much is helpful too. Noah only wants me to get him in and out of the car, to get him out of the bath, and to help him with most things. With Ryan on my hip , this can be difficult. Noah was not a fan of going to Nathan at Ryan's age, but I can pass Ryan off to Nathan no problem and she is totally fine. It is a win win! Noah is getting better about Daddy helping him with things and most stuff he wants to "do by myself" - little mister independent :)

So thankful to have a man that my little girl loves so much!

Dinosaur "Exhibit"

6 months ago I went to the Rhea Lana summer sale and was going through the DVDs to see if there was anything Noah might like. I came across a movie called "Dinosaurs" and decided it was worth $3. That was the beginning of Noah's obsession. He watched the movie 3 times in a row when we got home and has been all about dinosaurs ever since. We have since added the Land Before Time movies, Dinosaur Train, and Dino Dan to our dinosaur movie rotation. He knows SO much about dinosaurs and will tell you all about it if you are wrong - just ask the lady at Hobby Lobby who called his dinosaur a dragon - he insisted on finding a dragon to show her what a dragon was and kept LOUDLY saying "why did she call this dinosaur a dragon?" She thanked him for correcting her :)

When we were on the way to the zoo 2 weeks ago I saw a billboard for a dinosaur exhibit at the Mid-America Science museum and knew I HAD to take Noah! I got online and dinosaurs were only going to be on display until September 2nd - and we already had plans last weekend - so I had one day to plan it and took it! Thankfully Nathan was able to make the trip with me. I was psyching myself up in my head to take them alone if I had to because I knew Noah would love it so much I didn't want him to miss it - thankfully, I didn't have to me super mom though and Nathan came too. About half way there Noah started crying and grabbing his throat and said his belly hurt - I remembered that sign, he was getting nauseous. The road was windy and Nathan was taking the corners fast so it was making both Noah and I sick. Nathan slowed down some and he felt better (I didn't) and then he felt sick again so we pulled over. We both felt better after just a few minutes, but I took over driving. Driving always helps my car sickness and I made sure to go slow enough to not make Noah sick.

We were looking for somewhere to eat when we got to Hot Springs and Nathan just said "pull in wherever you want to eat". Well, I was trying to hurry since we were a little behind schedule and saw "The Purple Cow" and it looked like an old time diner - sounded fun. Well, I was wrong. It took forever to get our food - which wasn't going over well with Ryan (she was done with her lunch and wanting out of the high chair before I even got my food), they forgot Noah's food altogether so Nathan and I had our food and Noah had nothing - which wasn't going over well with Noah, then when they brought Noah's burger out, the bun had green furry mold on the side of it and we sent it back and it came back out with the same meat and cheese (only they added a new piece of cheese on top of the old one), my chicken sandwich was tasteless and full of fatty pieces I couldn't chew. So, I just took the kids to the car while Nathan finished his burger (which was ok according to him) and waited.

We finally made it over to museum about 1:30 and I was worried we wouldn't have enough time to see everything we needed to see before they closed at 5:00. So, we get started and find the dinosaur exhibit. Noah's face when he saw them was priceless. He just stared with his mouth open. Then he started talking to them - "hi t-rex, hi triceratops". There were kids screaming in there scared of them and Noah was totally fine and going right up to them. There were only 5 big robotic dinosaurs and one skeleton one. That was it. Nathan and I just looked at each other like "we just drove two and a half hours for that". We were literally done in 5 minutes. But, Noah was excited and loved it, so technically that it all that matters, even if momma and dada are disappointed with the exhibit. They had lots of other cool things to do at the museum, but we had to divide and conquer those. Ryan was beyond ready for a bottle and a nap - like even holding her and walking her around wasn't cutting it, she was just over it. So, we did what we could and then had to leave. It was 3:00 - we should have went to a better restaurant :) Thankfully Nathan told me to pick anywhere to eat on the way home - and I picked Dixie Cafe - you can't go wrong with Dixie Cafe! It was wonderful and the kids were wonderful and it ended our little family day perfectly!