Thursday, March 10, 2011

We Will Decide Our Own Future

I read this on someones Facebook status and loved it! It is the perfect way to put how I feel about certain parenting opinions Nathan and I get constantly! Don't get me wrong, helpful advice is welcome about phases and issues children have - but when people tell me what negative thing Noah is going to do - all the time- it gets old. I don't mean the stories people tell us about the crazy or bad thing their child did, once or twice. It is the ones who act like their child is a brat, and they don't know why or how to fix it because that is how all kids are. Noah is not perfect and throws mini-fits already when you take something away or he is not ready to get out of the bath tub - that is to be expected. But when other peoples under-disciplined children are rude and disrespectful, that is not something that I think ALL kids do - the kids that get away with it do it. Noah may try it and we will handle it then. But for people to tell me constantly about how big of a brat or spoiled my child is going to be or act is very irritating!

I was told several things that would happen during my pregnancy that didn't happen, and several things happened that no one told me about! The same has happened since Noah was born. All children are different, all parents are different. So, the combination of the two creates the dynamic of how that child will behave. I'm not trying to say I am an expert on anything - Noah is my first child. I do have 11 nieces and nephews however, coached hundreds of kids, and have been around children for a long time. So, I feel I have a valid opinion on the subject.

There is not a day that seems to go by that we don't here "You just wait until..." or "When Noah is older you will..." - I'm not a fan of being told what I will or will not do - whether it is true or not. I read several books before Noah was born and one talked about not letting the baby come in and take over as in charge of everything - and I really liked that. Noah is a part of our family, not the leader of the family. We have had to change a few things we do to accommodate his schedule, but that is what families do. If you let the child come in and you cater to their every need and they do not have to adjust, you are setting them up to be defiant when things don't go their way. So far, this has worked great with Noah. We have a good routine. He knows what to expect from me and I know what to expect from him.

When people talk negatively to me about what their kids are doing and what Noah is "going to do" it sounds like they are unhappy. Unhappy with their children - and that makes me sad. I do not want to talk to anyone and them come away from that conversation thinking I am unhappy with Noah in any way. He is going to upset me, disappoint me, and down right tick me off at times - but that does not make him a brat or me unhappy with being his mom.

This is just my opinion, and I had to get it out there because this has been going on since long before I even had Noah. Before I even got pregnant we have heard this. I am so proud to be Noah's mom and cannot wait to teach him right from wrong in the upcoming years - and I can only wish everyone else felt that way.

1 comment:

  1. I agree with everything you have said. Just to warn you it gets worse as they get in to school or close to the teenage years.

    When Dani was born at 1 pound 11 ounces I didnt think we'd ever hear the end of the "you should do this or you should do that." The fact of the matter is that indeed EVERY child is different and you have to treat them that way! I am proud of how we have raised Dani and although she is spoiled in some areas she knows she wont always get her way or never makes demands to us. She is polite, witty, sarcastic and sweet all rolled up in to one and I am always tickled when people brag about her to me. You will be the same way. You are starting Noah out on the right foot and I want you to know I think you are doing a great job!